David Cockney claims ‘smoking cures Coronavirus’. The lesser known (but talented) artist what comes out of the East End has sparked controversy by claiming he never ‘needed no silly-arsed jabs‘ making do with ‘Harry Wraggs’ to protect himself against the deadly virus during ‘the Worldwide pandemic‘.
Cockney is something of an enigma amongst pearly kings and queens; he likes to hold forth, down the (now almost extinct) London boozer. Bathing his working class tonsils in ‘brown champagne‘, this Titan of the art underworld reckons a packet of Super Kings will ‘fry the living daylights out of any f*****g disease’.
David Cockney reckons people have generally gone soft, like ‘a lost erection in a nunnery’. Entirely dependent on Nanny State; they don’t realise the blessings tar and nicotine bestow. Cockney points out, Coal Tar soap and Jeyes fluid both have tar derivatives in them and ‘if that ain’t gonna clean yer pipes, then what the fuck is?‘
A dyed-in-the-wool smoker since he was six, ‘Dave the Rave’ acquired the habit ‘like most kids these days what use them bleedin’ stupid inhalers’ ….. whilst he was playing with the Kray twins.
Cockney reckons fags can cure a number of diseases and afflictions including: rickets, diverticultis, mumps, measles and rubella. He says they can also cure erectile dysfunction. His assertion cigarettes have a palliative effect over venereal disease has yet to be clinically proven.
David Cockney takes issue with his artistic counterpart (‘him up North’), David Hockney, saying he wasn’t the first to stake such a claim. He also finds Mr. Hockney’s use of expensive fags irksome and contrary to his (Hockney’s) working class roots (Bradford).
He makes no bones about the fact ‘him up North’ gets more then his fair share of the limelight and is piqued at Northern accents always being ‘a sign of down-to-earth, working-classness’. Whereas a London accent just means ‘East Enders’.
The above video originally appeared on YouTube, but was taken down because it contravened the platform’s rules and regulations. Whilst it may ‘glamourise’ smoking, the production assumes a certain degree of intelligence in being able to discern satirical content. YouTube has become increasingly less free, moralising and didactic; it is more and more controlling of videos appearing there.
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